Lots of children who have had their images shared have told us they feel lots of different emotions such as being angry, sad, embarrassed, and scared. Some children said that they don’t understand why they feel this way.
Some children say:
😡 They get angry very easily.
😣 They find going to sleep hard.
🥺 They worry about what has happened.
😖 They feel scared of what may happen.
😞 They want to be on their own.
🤐 They don’t want to talk about what has happened.
When we are scared or remember something that really hurt us, our body can make us feel different.
Lets take a look at someone who may be feeling scared or worried…
These are all normal feelings and sometimes knowing that your body is telling you it is a bit worried can help you understand what is happening.
Our bodies are wise, and they learn what things have happened to us in the past that we need to be wary of, and the brain can tell you ‘its happening again’ when really it might just be a memory or a new noise. This is your smart brain and smart body getting a bit muddled with each other sometimes.
We can learn how to help our brains or bodies when this happens by thinking about something that is now, not past or future. That might be what our breathing is like, or what we can see, smell, touch or what we can hear. You might have your slippers on and feel your feet in them and wiggle your toes, you might press your fingers together or you might take a deep breath in through your nose. And you can say to your brain, out loud or in your head, ‘its okay, I am here right now’ and say the time and date, if you know it. You can say ‘stop it’ to tell your brain to stop remembering or worrying and some children like to write down their worries, their feelings or even stomp them out!
“But what if”... is a thinking thing that lots of us do. So, let’s take an example;
What if I get those feelings at school in a lesson? I can’t stomp out or shout out!
Can you think of anything you could do like the ideas above that are similar? What kind of things do you think you can name, touch, hear, smell, or look at to help you when your mind time travels? Would writing them down in a list help? Can you tell your parent or carer so that they can remember your helping list.
Some children like to have a tiny pebble, stone, or other small item that they can squeeze, hold or carry that can help them feel safe. What do you think you might use to help you stay ‘in the now?’
These feelings and thoughts can be scary and make us feel or think we are bad. This feeling is called shame and lots of children have these feelings, so you are not alone, but it is important to remember that you are not bad
*For those who like gaming (Minecraft/Roblox/Fortnite etc) shame is like a boss we need to beat and it wants us to do it alone, so we need a team or squad to help us!